Like most scrapbookers I am the one behind the camera in our family. It took my husband a long time to get used to the fact that he would have a camera pointed at him, a bit more than he would like, and be asked to smile.
However, my ten year old son loves the camera and requests his photo be taken in this pose and that pose.
Outside of our household I can feel reticent about requesting to take someone’s picture, however much I am wanting to do so.
Last week our family had a major shock. My brother-in-law passed away suddenly. The grief we hold in our hearts immeasurable.
Nick, my husband’s older brother, was truly a lovely man. I happily dropped the in-law bit and saw him as a brother.
Along with a death comes all the formalities, including a funeral. As his parents are still alive the responsibility to organize everything has fallen to them. Obviously, we all want to help in whatever way we can, but nothing we do will ever feel like enough.
But I have found my own way to help.
I take pictures.
Lots of pictures.
Suddenly everyone wants to see my pictures, requesting print outs in different sizes, emails to various family, because we all want to remember Nick.
None of us have as many photos of him as we would have wanted to have. Of course we don’t! Everybody loved him, everyone enjoyed their time with him at this event or on that particular day, but we don’t always have the photos to show for it.
Memories will never be taken from our minds, but now he’s gone, the realization that we can not take another picture is far too real.
I have pictures.
Pictures from Christmas Day, pictures from my wedding, pictures from a barbecue….
I am the girl who takes pictures.
I have found my own particular way to help. I can help others by giving them copies of my photos. Pictures that I have will be going on Nick’s funeral order of service, will be going to his son, will be going to his parents, his brothers and his partner.
I can’t get any of those times back to take more pictures.
That hurts.
What I can do is make sure that I am not reticent about taking photos again. If I hadn’t have taken those photos of Nick, we would have less to show of how much we loved him. By taking his photo on various occasions I hope he knew that he was worth remembering.
My camera is now going to be used so much more. Not just within my house and not just because it’s a birthday, or because it’s the first day of term etc.
My camera will take a picture….
Just because!
I hope if you’re reading this that you too may grab your camera before a visit to your friends house, your parents, your in laws….
Not for any special reason, other than you care.
Rest in peace Nick.
Love and crafty cuddles,
Scrapbook Bex.
scrapbookbex 
I’m sorry for your loss.
I too am the one who takes the photos. I hope this reminds me to take more of *people* … whether they always want me to or not!
Thank you for sharing this.
Julie
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Yes, it can annoy people sometimes, but they hopefully now will see why I do this. Thank you for reading.
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I had a lump in my throat reading this Rebecca and most especially seeing the photos of Nick. Those moments in time are now priceless and I imagine providing a little bit of solace during a very difficult time. I’ll be taking my camera with me from now on wherever I go no matter how inconvenient I think it may be. Just because…
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Thank you Nicola. Tried to stay on topic without rambling. My next scrapbook page will be all about him.
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Beautifully written Rebecca, I am so sorry for your loss. I honestly don’t know what else to say, only that I am sure your family is so glad that you are ‘the girl that takes pictures’ and hope that they will start to take more themselves. I know I will. Just because…
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It’s so important, isn’t it? Especially at a time like this. It helps that this is something I have been able to do to help. Thank you for reading.
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I am the one who takes photos in our families, my side are used to it, my hubby’s side moan when I get my camera out, or they did until my hubby’s brother suddenly died and I was then able to produce the photos I had taken a couple of weeks before at his bonfire party of him with; his teenage children, his mum, brothers ect, now they are thankful and don’t moan quite as much!
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Photos are so important aren’t they?! I’m glad that your husband’s family no longer moan, although very sorry to hear of how that came to be. Thank you for reading.
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Beautifully written post Rebecca! A timely reminder to all of us that life is short so we should capture the memories while we still can. I’m always reminding my family that the photos I take of them are for the future. For my daughter and for generations to come.
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It is so important isn’t it? Thanks for reading.
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So sorry to hear about your tragic loss. I too am the one who takes photos, lots of them. And my photos were a great solace when I lost my own dad. I spent days going through my collection and putting them into an album. With my dad I tried to include different friends and family members, then after the funeral we passed the album round. People loved looking through, talking about memories and sharing stories. I asked them to write next to the relevant photo, it is a lovely keepsake.
Recently I got out our huge collection of slides to show our granddaughters. They were fascinated and wanted to see them hour after hour. What I learnt was that while beautiful views and scenery are interesting at the time, it was only the slides that had people in that really meant anything to me. Even the blurred, the over exposed, it didn’t matter that they are imperfect. They triggered memories and stories… and from now on I am trying to get people into my photos even if it is the scenery that I want to capture. People who matter to me, or I have a connection with. I have learnt to ignore grumbles or raised eyes.
I wish I’d had the courage to ask if I could take a photo of a coalman, rather than feel like an intruder trying to sneak a photo as he lugged sacks of coal from his lorry. I am sure I would have felt more comfortable even if he’d said no! We might even have got into conversation about how we never see coalmen in the south, how he triggered memories of the lovely man who once delivered coal to our come before the days of central heating. it was a lesson learned. I have his photo as a reminder, albeit not a good one. That is a story in itself….
So, thank you for this difficult sharing about the importance of taking photos. I am sure it will resonate with so many readers, and my thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time.
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I take the odd sly photo. My husband’s younger brother was helping us to move in and he hates having his photo taken. So I took a sneaky pic of him helping to lift the fridge. I still wanted to document how he’s always there to lend a hand when you need him. Thank you for reading.
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